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Tips for How to Handle The In-Laws for the Holidays . . .

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Not all of us have access to effective sedatives . . . So, for the rest of us in the real world Here are 7 ways to deal with annoying in-laws and family during the Holidays:

  1. Manage your expectations. Setting realistic expectations is the key to not getting frustrated or angry with your partner’s family. It’s inevitable that there will be differences and disagreements, but don’t try to change them or assume that things will be different this year. Instead, strive to find some common ground. It is ok to disagree, but don’t focus on differences, focus on the common ground.
  2. Make it a team effort. Include your in-laws in the planning. Ultimately, everyone wants to feel important and included.  A team effort makes every family member feel like an essential part of the meal or party. If someone doesn’t like to cook or bake, have him or her bring something to drink, flowers, a game or the plates and napkins. People get along when they feel listened to and included. 
  3. Recognize it for what it is: a control issue. Seriously, it’s about control.  Often we take comments from our in-laws personally, especially if it’s about something important to us, like our marriage, parenting style or work situation. Keep this in perspective: Your in-laws’ comments aren’t about you; they’re a reflection of them. Usually the most prickly issues are about who will have the most influence and control. Parents are fearful of losing total control over their child. They also don’t like to acknowledge that they are getting older themselves — and losing some of their power. When you recognize this, you can ask for input or advice, making them feel less out of control in the relationship. 
  4. Respect differences. You can’t change anyone’s behavior or opinion, so be a role model and show respect for everyone’s point of view. If there’s a topic that creates too much conflict — like politics or religion or food — steer clear of it. You don’t have to accept your in-laws’ opinions, just respect them and listen politely.  
  5. Set emotional boundaries. Don’t spill your guts about everything in your life, and establish limits around what you ask others — and how much you’re willing to shape-shift to accommodate them. Most of us want to be accepted and liked, especially by our in-laws, and sometimes we do and do and do for them at our own expense. Shape-shifting and attempting to conform is physically and mentally exhausting.   Boundaries are what you will and will not do. You and your spouse should decide together what the boundaries are in your own family. For example, if you value your kids’ early bedtimes, you may not attend evening events, even if it’s your sister-in-law’s birthday.
  6. Enlist your partner’s help. If you’ve tried to communicate directly with your in-laws but there’s too much tension and conflict, it might be time to ask your spouse to step in. He might have to talk to them alone or come to your rescue when you’re in their company. This may not be easy for him, because parents tend to push our buttons. He might have to say, for instance, “Mom, this is how my wife feels about this issue. Please respect her. It’s important to me that you two get along.”  Always focus on maintaining a healthy relationship with your spouse as the number one priority. You two are a team and should act as a united front when addressing issues with each other’s parents.
  7. Always Be Kind.  Your kids are always watching and listening, so it’s important to value kindness in all your interactions with family members and extended family. Extend kind greetings to your in-laws and speak in a respectful tone at all times, even if you don’t feel like they do the same to you. No one wins if you try to treat others like they treat you.
Cheesecake #DocMuscles #KetonianKing

Happy National Cheesecake Day!

Happy National Cheesecake Day!

Yes, you heard me correctly.  It is National Cheesecake Day today.  Today you must eat cheesecake – or you could be considered un-American.

“I can’t eat cheese cake, I’m doing a ketogenic diet!” you exclaim.

“Yes.  So am I.”

Eating cheesecake is actually good for you, (low-carb cheesecake that is) and it’s also good for your family. This is the perfect day for ketogenic cheesecake . . . like my wife Tiffini’s Low-Carb Key Lime & Blueberry Cheesecake and as my gift to you for #NationalCheesecakeDay, you can get the recipe by filling in that pop up box!

And, “NO – I know what you’re thinking,” you can never have too much heavy whipped cream.

So, why am I so excited about National Cheesecake Day?  I love low-carb cheesecake for a number of reasons.

Testosterone & Cheesecake

National Cheesecake Day makes me think of testosterone.

I know. Leave it to a man to start with testosterone, but in the big picture, a man really isn’t a man without testosterone, right?  I mean, it was during the 5th week of embryonic development that my Y chromosome began signaling the differentiation of male fetal growth in-utero.  And like every male, that same hormone, testosterone, continues to differentiate me from the human female counterpart throughout life.  (And, boy am I grateful for that.)

The reason testosterone comes to mind is that I see a large number of men with low testosterone.  Low testosterone has become a significant issue.  20-30% of the men in my practice suffer from some degree of suppression in testosterone when they first present in my office.   In fact, you can’t watch late night TV without being asked if your testosterone is too low (“Do you have Low ‘T’?”).

We know that the primary nutrient shown to affect testosterone to the greatest extent is fat. Studies reveal that diets low in fat and high in carbohydrates are associated with lower testosterone compared to diets high in fat (1, 2).  That begs the question, has 50 years of our low-fat high-carb diets made us less manly?  I am convinced, but I’ll let you be the judge when you look at the pictures below . . .

Manhood #DocMuscles #KetonianKing Cheesecake

When did this become acceptable?

MenThenMenNow #DocMuscles #KetonianKing Lack of Cheesecake

Testosterone is essential in providing energy, muscle mass & growth and actually keeping the waistline down.  Adequate testosterone is one of the key components allowing the man to fill the fatherhood rolls of protector and provider.

Female Brain Has A Testosterone Meter

Interestingly, the female brain is actually subconsciously wired to see the male physique and identify pheromones indicating your testosterone is higher or lower.  Most women won’t admit it, because they probably don’t even recognize it, but studies show that men who lack muscle, have lower testosterone and have a beer belly are actually less attractive to the female sex. Men who produce more testosterone produce androstadienone in their sweat at a greater concentration which can be detected by the female improving her mood, focus and sexual response (9).  If your diet isn’t helping you stimulate testosterone production, you’re less inclined to perform well in areas requiring its presence and you may be seen as less attractive by the women in the room.

That means that, bacon and eggs you craved this morning improve your manliness and actually give you more sex appeal. And, I’m sorry to say, the bagel and orange juice you had this morning are feminizing, they’re turning you into a woman, especially if you are like 85% of other men who over produce insulin because of insulin resistance.

When insulin is high and being over produced, it suppresses Luteinizing Hormone (LH) and Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH), lowering testosterone production.  The high insulin and high fructose of the bagel and orange juice stimulate increased uptake of fat into the fat cells and decreases adiponectin production.  This causes increase in Sex Hormone Binding Globulin (SHBG) which further decreases available testosterone.  High insulin and low adiponectin puts your “man card” through the wash.

Cheesecake and Men’s Muscles

Men need muscles for all sorts of important things.  It’s often Dad who carries the child on his shoulders, or lifts you above his head.  It takes muscles for that.

Father and Child #DocMuscles #KetonianKing Cheesecake makes better fathers

We talked about the importance of testosterone in muscle development.  That that’s not all.  Many men can provide for their families specifically because of their ability to use that muscle.  I’m not saying women can’t use muscle, too.  In fact, muscle is essential for the female body to be healthy. What I’m saying that there are a number of jobs that make our country function that require men who are fit. Jobs like policemen, firefighters, special-ops military teams, construction workers, life-guards & delivery drivers require the strength and power men bring to these fields.  These jobs require muscle, and specifically “manly” muscle from healthy testosterone.

In addition, we know that ketones, the primary fuel in a ketogenic diet, inhibit muscle breakdown by decreasing leucine oxidation and preserving muscle mass (3). Being in ketosis increases testosterone and increases the presence of leucine preserving and allowing for bigger stronger muscles. So, yes, visiting the donut shop actually does make you less manly by allowing the more rapid degradation of your muscles.

“Wasn’t it my muscles that first got your attention when we met and got this whole father thing started in the first place, honey?” I asked my wife in the kitchen.

“What?! No . . .” she responded.

“Oh, . . . never mind.”

Energy & Cheesecake

Whether you have great muscles or not, you need energy for the muscles you have to fill your role as a man.  Work requires energy.  As fat is increasingly used as your primary fuel, instead of sugar, the liver converts it into ketone bodies, or ketones.  The liver itself, doesn’t use the ketones, so they are taken up by the muscles and brain for fuel.  Increased energy, mental clarity and suppression of inflammation are the key findings that are noticed while using fat as your primary fuel.  What man couldn’t us a little more of that?

Health of Family Influenced By Father’s Health

In fact, several studies report that the man in the home has the biggest impact on the overall fitness and on the overall weight of his children. It was found that the father’s, not the mother’s, total and percentage body fat was the best predictor of whether or not the couple’s daughters gained weight as they got older (4).  All the more reason to keep your waistline under control, Dad. And, all the more reason to have low-carb cheesecake today.

Another fascinating study showed fathers’ (again, not the mothers’) body mass index is directly related to a child’s activity level (5).

Cheesecake Helps Rough-Housing

Energy and muscle is essential for “rough-housing” and there is science to prove that “rough-housing” makes your kids awesome!  Psychologist Anthony Pellegrini found that the amount of rough-housing children engage in predicts their achievement in first grade better than their kindergarten test scores do (10). What is it about rough and tumble play that makes kids smarter? Well, a couple things.

OldFasionedRoughHousing #DocMuscles #KetonianKing cheesecake

Rough-housing makes your kids more resilient.  Strengthening resilience is a key in developing children’s intelligence. Resilient kids tend to see failure more as a challenge to overcome rather than an event that defines them.  Intellectual resilience that comes from energetic fathers helps ensure your children bounce back from bad grades and gives them the grit to keep trying until they’ve mastered a topic.

Intelligence From Cheesecake?

Neuroscientists studying animal and human brains have found that bouts of rough-and-tumble play increase the brain’s level of a chemical called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). BDNF helps increase neuron growth in the parts of the brain responsible for memory, logic, social intelligence and higher learning–skills necessary for academic success.  We, also, now know that the brain that uses fat, or ketones, as its primary fuel recovers from injury and makes BDNF more effectively (6,7).

So, remember, that rib-eye with steak butter your kids gave you for dinner and the low-carb cheesecake you had for dinner is actually making you and them smarter and more resilient. You could even say that a diet high in fat and low in carbohydrate gives your family more grit.

Overall Happiness from Cheesecake?

The Harvard Grant Study completed in 1934, the longest longitudinal study ever done on the lives of men, found that a man’s father influenced his life in multiple ways exclusive to his relationship with his mother. Loving fathers imparted to their sons:

  • Enhanced capacity to play
  • Greater enjoyment of vacations
  • Increased likelihood of being able to use humor as a healthy coping mechanism
  • Better adjustment to, and contentment with, life after retirement
  • Less anxiety and fewer physical and mental symptoms under stress in young adulthood

It should be noted that “it was not the men with poor mothering but the ones with poor fathering who were significantly more likely to have poor marriages over their lifetimes.” Men who lacked a positive relationship with their fathers were also “much more likely to call themselves pessimists and to report having trouble letting others get close” (8).

You, as a testosterone producing man and father, matter.  And, being in ketosis makes you an even better father! Seriously.

FatherSon #DocMuscles #KetonianKing cheesecake

When all is said and done, a man’s relationship with his father very significantly predicted his overall life satisfaction at age 75 — “a variable not even suggestively associated with the maternal relationship” (8).

So, to circle back, the low-carb key-lime cheese cake just made me more manly. Thanks, Honey!  Happy National Cheesecake Day!

Tiffini’s Low-Carb Cheesecake Recipe:

Crust:

2 1/2 cups macadamia nut flour (salted tastes better)

1/4 cup sweetener (Swerve)

1/2 cup butter melted

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour and sweetener.  Stir in butter until well combined.  Press firmly into bottom and up the sides of a pie pan or spring-form pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 8 minutes (watch closely so that the crust does not over-brown) 

Filling:

16 oz cream cheese, softened

2 tbsp sour cream

1/4 cup freshly squeezed lime juice with pulp

1 tsp lime zest

3/4 cup sweetener (Swerve or erythritol)

1/2 cup + 2 tbsp heavy whipping cream, divided

1 tbsp gelatin or 1 envelope Knox gelatin

In a large bowl, beat cream cheese, sour cream, lime juice with pulp and zest together until smooth.  Beat in the sweetener until well combined.   In a small bowl, whisk together 2 tbsp of heavy cream and the gelatin.  Stir into the cream cheese until well combined.  

In another bowl, beat whipping cream until it forms stiff peaks.  Gently fold  whipped cream into the cream cheese mixture.

Spread the filling over the cooled prepared crust.  

Refrigerate for a few hours until set and ready to serve with blueberries sprinkled on top.

References:

  1. Hamalainen, E., H. Aldercreutz, P. Puska, and P. Pietinen. Diet and serum sex hormones in healthy men. J. Steroid Biochem. 20:459-464, 1984.
  2. Reed, M.J., R.W. Cheng, M. Simmonds, W. Richmond, and V.H.T. James. Dietary Lipids: an additional regulator of plasma levels of sex hormone binding globulin. J. Clin. Endocrin. Metab. 64:1083-1085, 1987.
  3. Nair KS, Welle SL, Halliday D, Cambell RG. Effect ofβ-hydroxybutyrate on whole-body leucine kinetics and fractional mixed skeletal muscle protein synthesis in humans. J Clin Invest. 1988;82:198–
  4. Figueroa-Colon R, Arani RB, Goran MI, Weinsier RL. Paternal body fat is a longitudinal predictor of changes in body fat in premenarcheal girls. Am J Clin Nutr. 2000 Mar;71(3):829-34.
  5. Finn, Kevin et al. Factors associated with physical activity in preschool children.J of Ped., Vol 140, Issue 1, 81-85
  6. Vizuete AF1, de Souza DF, Guerra MC, Batassini C, Dutra MF, Bernardi C, Costa AP, Gonçalves CA. Brain changes in BDNF and S100B induced by ketogenic diets in Wistar rats. Life Sci. 2013 May 20;92(17-19):923-8.
  7. Masino SA, Rho JM. Mechanisms of Ketogenic Diet Action.  Jasper’s Basic Mechanisms of the Epilepsies [Internet]. 4th edition. Bethesda (MD): National Center for Biotechnology Information (US); 2012.
  8. Valliant GE. Triumphs of Excellence: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study. 1934
  9. Verhaeghe J, Gheysen R, Enzlin P. Pheromones and their effect on women’s mood and sexuality. Facts Views Vis Obgyn. 2013; 5(3): 189-195.
  10. DeBenedet A, Cohen LJ. The Art of Roughhousing. 2010. Quirk Books.

KetoTalk: Episode 27 -Mailbox Blitz, Low Energy, Headache, Stomach-Ache, Breast-Feeding While On Keto

Mailbox desert

Listen in today as Jimmy and Adam blaze through a bunch of listener questions in Episode 27 of KetoTalk with Jimmy and the Doc!

GetAdaptBars

KEY QUOTE: “Children are born in ketosis, so ketones are perfect for babies. The level of fat in breast-milk is essential for them to maintain their health and their growth.” — Dr. Adam Nally

Here’s are the 12 questions Jimmy and Adam answered in this special Keto Talk Mailbox Blitz extended podcast today:

– Testimonial from someone who learned his lesson why it’s important to stay ketogenic all the time
– Three-decade study confirms saturated fats are bad for health
– Is increased testosterone from a ketogenic diet a bad thing for women?
– Why am I still struggling with low energy and low ketones after months of being in ketosis?
– Can being in nutritional ketosis above 1.0 mmol cause painful headaches?
– Do artificial sweeteners and stevia raise insulin?
– Is my ketogenic diet causing me to cramp up before and during my half marathon racing?
– Is MCT oil a better fat to use on a ketogenic diet than other fats like coconut oil, cream, or butter?
– Why do I have a constant stomachache while I’m on a ketogenic diet?
– Do you have to be in ketosis to burn fat?
– Does being in ketosis lead to daily spotting and extended periods?
– Are ketones in my baby’s breastmilk safe for her to consume? And why did my milk supply drop when I went keto?
– What is the impact of the supplement creatine on ketones, blood sugar, and insulin levels?
– Can I ease into ketosis as a way to avoid the dreaded “keto flu?”

KEY QUOTE: “If you’re not feeling energy after that adaptation period of 2-4 weeks at the very most, then you’re doing something wrong. Let that be your wakeup call to change something.” — Jimmy Moore

KetonesKETOOS

Listen in here at KetoTalk.com or you can download the episode for free on iTunes.

KetoTalk From the Caribbean Sea

AllureOfTheSeas

Dr. Nally recently spoke about Low-Carbohydrate/Ketogenic Diets on the 2016 Low Carb Cruise to the Eastern Caribbean.  While there, he and Jimmy Moore recorded another episode of KetoTalk with Jimmy and the Doc.

Listen in to KetoTalk Episode 20: A LIVE Q&A Session From The 2016 Low-Carb Cruise

Here’s what Jimmy and Dr. Nally talked about in Episode 20:
– We are in front of a LIVE audience of Ketonians
– How long will you experience hair loss when you go ketogenic?
– What role does resistant starch have on the keto diet?
– Is eating high-fat with high-carb harming my boyfriend?
– How does intermittent fasting help with keto?
– Whether to count total vs. net carbohydrates
– Whether you need to cycle carbs when building muscle
– What the best way to test your ketones is
– How to test blood ketones on a budget
– What the difference is between an NMR and basic lipid panel
– The dramatic changes in your cholesterol when going keto
– How long should you be on keto before running blood tests?
– Whether you should cut fat lower on keto to speed up weight loss
– Is having a lower body temperature a bad thing when eating keto?

You can listen at the iTunes page here, or download it for free to your favorite iTunes player.

How to Stay Motivated on Carbohydrate Restriction

This evening on PeriScope, we talked about the 10 things you can do to stay motivated on your low-carb lifestyle.  A number of great questions were asked including:

  • How much carbohydrate should be restricted?
  • What labs should you be monitoring regularly?
  • What’s a normal blood sugar?
  • Why is Dr. Nally freezing in Denver?
  • Is fermented food good for you?
  • Why should you eat pickles and kimchi even when you’re not pregnant?

And, much much more . . . It’s like a college ketogenic course on overdrive . . . for FREE!!!

You can see the PeriScope with the comments rolling in real-time here: katch.me/docmuscles

Or, you can watch the video stream below:

See you next time.