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Which One Has Nuts? You Be The Judge

This isn’t a ketogenic post, but it’s about time to stand up to these stupid woke companies who can’t tell the difference between a man and a woman.

For years, I’ve owned stock in Hershey’s Chocolates.  But, after this week’s woke leftist shenanigans and Hershey’s Chocolates making their new spokesman for International Woman’s day a confused transgender man,  I’ve sold all my Hershey’s stock.

In fact, I’m going to buy stock in Jeremys Razors and The Daily Wire, and I’m going to buy a few bars of Jeremey’s chocolate just to spite them.

YouTube player

If you can’t tell the difference between a man and a woman,  then you just go right on buying chocolate from the woke left. . .

This video sparked a powerful movement on social media to #BoycottHersheys, as users claim the candy company is erasing biological women during Women’s History Month.

“If you have any respect for women whatsoever you will share this post, tag Hershey’s and never buy their products again. Help us win the war on women,” one user wrote.

“Hershey’s is erasing women by putting biological men in their place for international women’s day,” another account wrote.

“Here’s the thing about real women, [Hershey’s],” Abigail Shrier, author of the book Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters, wrote. “We have long memories.”

Yes, yes they do . . . You won’t live this one down, Hersheys.

From now on, I will be drinking my Kettle & Fire bone broth out of my new mug that was forged in the fires of facts, reason and logic . . .

That’s all I’m going to say.

Ten Life Lessons From Star Wars You Must Know

Commit to the life that you want to live – then live it.

“Do or do not… there is no try.” – Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back

We can spend our entire lives debating actions and, frozen in fear, fighting uncertainty.  Yet, in life, nothing is certain. We can either waste precious time in limbo or make a decision and stick with it!  Just start.

If you’ve fallen off track, just restart.  Try again.  You’re mindset should rejoice in success or learn from failure.

Surround yourself with people who are supportive of and believe in you.

“I find your lack of faith disturbing.” – Darth Vader in A New Hope

Even the great Lord Vader needed supportive people around him.  There is absolutely no reason to waste your time and energy on people who bring you down. Rather, fill your life with the believers and doers, people who inspire you and bring positive energy to your life. Otherwise, you may resort to the dark side…

Don’t lie to yourself. You usually already know what you should be doing.

“Already know you, that which you need.” – Yoda

Listen to your heart, The Force, and your conscience.  Listen to that Yoda voice you hear as you fall asleep or the nagging thoughts that simply won’t go away.  Though the road ahead seems perilous, the solution is within.  You know what you should be doing, just do it.

Don’t let the impossible hold you back.

“Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1,” stated C-3PO.

“Never tell me the odds!” retorted Han Solo

(The Empire Strikes Back)

Even if an asteroid field is hurling towards you and your odds of success are 3,720 to 1, don’t let this daunting ratio prevent you from following your heart.

If people aren’t laughing at your dreams, your dreams are NOT big enough.  You should be striving for big hairy audacious dreams.  Seriously.

Success often stems from overcoming failures.

“Strike me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” – Obi- Wan Kenobi in A New Hope

Success cannot flourish without hard work. Losing weight is hard, but being obese for a lifetime is even harder.  Success is only found through trial and error, profound dedication, and the ability to see setbacks as stepping stones towards later victory.

You may have to learn 301 ways that don’t work before you try the 302nd method that is successful.

Do not let fear guide your life

“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” – Yoda in The Phantom Menace

Fear cripples us from doing what needs to be done. It prevents us from becoming the people we’re meant to be. It isolates us from others and makes us scared of those we do not understand. Historically speaking, fear has fueled many wars, genocides, persecutions, and riots. Clearly, Yoda was onto something. What are you actually afraid of?

Humor goes a long way

(As the garbage compactor closes in on Luke and Han Solo) “One thing’s for sure, we’re all gonna be a lot thinner.” – Han Solo in A New  Hope

When things get tough, it’s natural to freak out. However, freaking out isn’t the most productive or efficient way to solve a problem. Humor lightens the mood and allows everyone time to regroup and reassess the situation. It also keeps spirits high, enabling people to do what needs to be done. Plus, girls dig a guy who can crack a joke every now and again.

Humor is a method of alleviating stress and giving your brain a chance to reset for success.

Thoughts and actions directly impact the future

“Always remember, your focus determines your reality.” – Qui-Gon Jinn in The Phantom Menace.

What we spend our days thinking about, and actively pursuing, directly affects our future (for better or worse). Considering this, we should invest our time and energy into the things and people we’re passionate about, and the dreams we have, rather than focusing on the negative or filling our lives with empty distractions.

Sometimes we just need to let go

“Let go of your hate.” – Luke Skywalker in Return of the Jedi

There is no room for hate, fear, and regret in our lives. Often, we just need to let it go so that we may finally be free.

When in doubt, improvise

If you are backed into a corner, do your best and improvise, then move on and don’t waste your time.

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May the Fourth be with you today!!

Broken Honor

Something is broken. Something shifted over the last 100 years causing a dramatic change to the average man.  As a young boy, the only reason I ever heard about Audie Murphy, one of the most decorated war heroes of our time, is that he is a distant relative.  My father told me stories about him. Audie Murphy was an icon of male history, a true hero.

But something happened to our culture.  Men with the character of Audie Murphy disappeared, and the average male metamorphasized over a generation.  The men of today often lack the basic skills of daily living. They are increasingly immature, anxious, and depressed. They increasingly experience fatigue and malaise and are often bereft of motivation.

I’ve been practicing medicine for over 20 years.  Each year, more and more men show up in my office feeling depressed, anxious, lethargic, and fatigued.  With the backdrop of a pandemic disease like COVID-19, these men are more frequently suicidal than ever before.  And, the majority of them respond poorly to medication and counseling.  Why is there an increasing manifestation of malignant male malaise and depression?

It’s not their lousy childhood, crappy job, lack of desire, or failure to grow up that cause’s these symptoms.  It’s not a lack of serotonin, dopamine or norepinephrine.  And, it’s not even low testosterone levels.  Although these are signs, symptoms and secondary effects of the primary problem.  The problem is lack of honor.  Honor has been lost by both men and women.  But, this lack of honor has a uniquely deleterious effect upon the man.  Honor can be learned by women, however, it is not part of their true nature.  Honor is an instinctual subconscious characteristic found in the men of our species.

The feminization and emasculation of men, the emancipation and objectification of women, and the sexual liberation both sexes in our society has played a huge role in suppressing and repressing the need for honor.  Though many claim we are “better off,” changes to our view of the sexes has removed our desire to hold and retain honor, especially among the younger generations of men.

What changed in the picture above?  Honor is gone.

Honor is Directly Tied to Manhood

Across every culture, and across all of known time, honor and manhood are instinctively tied together.   Honor has been and always will be central to a man’s masculine identity.  Men would go to great lengths to win honor and to prevent the loss of their honor.

In all of classical literature, honor is the central theme because it is central in the life of a man.  It is part of his subconscious identity.  The poems of Homer, the plays of Shakespeare, the writings of the Stoics, the chivalry of the knights and the gallantry of the Victorian Gentleman are all based upon the “fields of honor” where men defend their manhood.

I find it enlightening that penned upon the greatest document of governance ever written, the Declaration of Independence, our founding fathers “mutually pledged to each other [their] lives, [their] fortunes and [their] sacred honor.”

Honor is foundational.  It resonates throughout Christian doctrine as well.  It is part of the Ten Commandments, “Honor thy father and thy mother…” (Exodus 20:12).  Men have been commanded to “give honor to their wives.” (1 Peter 3:7) And, even God himself told the ancient prophets Isaiah and Moses that the fall of Lucifer was because he sought God’s honor, which is His power. (Isaiah 14:12-14; Moses 4:1)

What is Honor?

We throw the word “honor” around a great deal.  But, if you actually ask the question, “What is Honor?” most people scratch their head and struggle to answer.  If you press a person long enough, you’ll probably get an answer like, “being true to a set of personal ideals,” “doing the right thing when no one is looking,” or “being a person of integrity.”

Honor is instinctual in men.  Men define their character around honor, duty and obligation.  This is an inborn trait of the male protector and provider.  A man will do something for his mother out of duty and obligation.  Not because she nagged or pressured him, but because taking care of her is part of his definition of himself as a man.  He may hate it or despise the activity, and he may complain about it, but not doing it is not even an option. Not because he is afraid of upsetting his mother.  It’s because honor, duty and obligation define who he is on an instinctual level.

The Medieval period added “integrity” to its code of chivalry to temper “reflexive” honor (we will discuss this later).  In our society, honor has been watered down and emasculated to the point that it is now defined almost identically to integrity. However, honor does not equal integrity. They are two different characteristics.

Even Mr. Webster himself watered down the definition of honor when he defined it as “adherence to what is right or to a conventional standard of conduct.”  That closely resembles his definition of integrity, “the quality of being honest (doing what is right) and having strong moral principles (following a conventional standard of conduct).”  These two definitions are almost identical.  Yet, honor is not integrity.  Webster’s definition above is not what Homer, or Shakespeare wrote about.  And, that definition is NOT what our Founding Fathers pledged upon the Declaration of Independence.

The Anthropologist Frank Henderson Stewart makes the case that honor comes in two types: Horizontal Honor & Vertical Honor.

Horizontal Honor

Horizontal honor implies mutual respect of two equal men.  But this isn’t the watered-down feminized version of respect that pervades our culture today.  This is not the I’m a human being and you’re a human being and we should respect each other because of “social equality” type of respect.  No, this is honor that is contingent upon an unyielding adherence to a standard maintained within a group.

Horizontal Honor hinges upon three essential elements. The first is a code of honor.  This is a standard that must be reached by any member of the group to receive respect within the group.  There are rules that outline achievements of the standard and rules that delineate how that honor is lost.  Any definition of honor that cannot be lost, is not actually honor.

An honor group is the second element. This is a group of individuals who understand the honor code and have committed to live by it.  Anyone and everyone within the group understands the code and lives by it.  The members of group must therefore be equals and hold respect for others in the group, being both their equal and living and maintaining the standard of the honor code.  Honor is then rendered based on the judgment of others in the group, and therefore the opinion of those members must matter to you.  This respect is rendered in a two-way street.

These honor groups must be exclusive.  If anyone and everyone can be a part of the group, regardless of their adherence to the code, then honor becomes absolutely meaningless.  Egalitarianism (equality of social, political and economic status) and honor cannot coexist.  Social justice destroys honor and the honor code.

Lastly, the honor group must be a tight-knit, intimate group. In a society of people that is governed by respect, a member’s knowledge of every other member and face-to-face interaction is essential.   Honor cannot exist in a society where anonymity dominates.  The rise of social media, and the increased anonymity that comes with it, chips away at the maintenance of honor.

Honor is all or nothing. You either have it, or you don’t.  A person who fails to live up to the group’s code loses his honor.  He loses his right to the respect the other members of the group provide.  This creates shame.  The recognition that one failed to live up to the code is shameful.  For honor to exist, a healthy feeling of shame compels one to check one’s behavior.   When one cares not for the respect of others in the group, honor loses its power to compel living according to the standard.

You either have the respect of your peers within this group or you don’t.  Bringing dishonor upon yourself by failing to meet the minimum standards of the group (or showing disdain or indifference for those standards) results in exclusion or excommunication from the group, including the accompanying shame.  Failure to conform results in your membership card being revoked.

The last semblances of honor can be heard among men in our culture today when they talk about taking away each other’s “man cards.”  Men actually understand this at an instinctual level.  Horizontal honor is essentially the need to actually hold the man card.  It is recognition that you are a man among other men.  Losing one’s man card is an echo of the punishment for violating the original code of men – the honor code.

Vertical Honor

Vertical Honor isn’t about mutual respect between two men of equal stature.  It is about giving praise and esteem to those “who are superior, whether by virtual of their abilities, their rank, their services to the community, their sex, their kinship, their office, or anything else.” (Honor, Frank Henderson Stewart, p.59).

Vertical honor is hierarchical and competitive.  Vertical honor goes to the man who not only lives the code, but excels at the code.  Vertical honor cannot exist without horizontal honor.  First, you must hold the man card.  Excelling at protecting or providing then defines the vertical honor.

The feminization of our society, along with an insistence of social justice for all, makes horizontal honor in-existent, and vertical honor thereby becomes despicable, loathsome and to some, even “toxic.”

There is this feminist notion that masculinity is a basket of “good” and “bad” characteristics that men can pick and choose from. The pleasant qualities are things like provision of food, provision of funds, providing a home, duty, honor and procreation. The “bad” or distasteful characteristics are things like intense strength, lust, violence and furious indignation.

When a man instinctively acts upon his role as provider and protector, gender roles that are repressed in today’s culture, he naturally bases his actions around those things that bring honor.  Being an honorable provider and protector requires the man to excel at those things that are perceived by the feminist as “messy,” “bad” or “toxic.”  Honor is an action word and can only be demonstrated through action.  When that man begins to be true to horizontal and vertical honor, today’s society sees him a “toxic male.”

Men thrive on admiration of their honor, especially vertical honor.  It literally recharges a man’s batteries.  These are the trophies, awards, points and accolades that come from distinguishing yourself as a provider or protector.  It’s why men are drawn to messy tests of their strength, power, and manhood against other men.  It’s what drives a man to run a marathon, become a prize fighter, learn martial arts, to be a hunter, build a home, design cities, write revolutionary computer code, complete medical school and residency, and on, and on, and on.

Honor as Defined by Our Forefathers

Honor as our Forefathers understood it was two-fold: respect from the group (horizontal) and praise from the group (vertical).  Implicit in this definition of honor is that it depends upon the opinion of others.  You may have a sense of honor, but that just does not cut it.  Others must first recognize your honor before it can actually exist.

I can hear some of you say, “Wait a minute, Doc, honor is universal to men and women. What about the honor of women?”

Yes. You are correct.  However, honor differs between the genders.  Though codes of honor have varied across time and cultures, in its most primitive instinctual forms, honor was usually related to chastity for women and courage for men.

During the periods of history when governments did not exist, professional military’s were few and far between, and there was no one to enforce the “rule of law,” the moral force that governed the tribe and maintained survival was “honor.”  Men were expected to act as the tribe’s protectors, a role in which strength, courage and vitality were essential.  If the man was not physically strong, then he was expected to contribute through mastery of a skill (shaman, medicine man, scout, black-smith, weapons maker, shepherd, etc.) that provided benefit to the tribe.  Honor is the driving force that motivated men to fulfill these expectations.

Demonstration of courage and mastery provided horizontal honor as men.  That honor provided privileges of being a full member of the tribe.  As they excelled at the code, the were granted even greater status and more privilege within the tribe (vertical honor).  However, cowardice, laziness, and weakness were shamed as unmanly causing loss of access to privilege within the tribe.

Defending Your Honor

Defending your honor or reputation was a matter of life or death for many of our ancestors and forefathers.  It is literally instinctual in the male.  Even into the late 19th century, one could not get a good job as a lawyer or politician without maintaining one’s honor.  Thus, to maintain privileges, men were highly motivated and tremendously vigilant about maintaining their honor.

Insult to one’s reputation or honor, or the honor (chastity) of a female member of your family, required immediate remedy. If you were hit, you hit back. Saving face was supreme.  Retaliation was necessary to prove you still had the courage that made one worthy of honorable status. The chasity of a female member of your household could be remedied by the courageous act of the protector. Dueling was a common and acceptable means of defending that honor.

Defending honor can lead to what anthropologists call reflexive honor.  This was inspiring and, also, problematic.  When taken to the extreme, reflexive honor becomes an “irrational pissing contest” between men, clans or even communities.  This could destroy a community.   So, as societies became more civilized, they attempted to temper the male instinct to retaliate when honor has been maligned.  This tempering is what brought about the honor code of chivalry with the Medieval knights and the gentleman’s code of the Victorian era.

A Man’s Honor vs The Group’s Honor

Concern for one’s honor is both selfish and selfless.  On one hand, men want to be respected as men, respected in the tribe and desire the privileges of membership (horizontal honor).  Membership in the tribe entitled the person to gain vertical honor and status through worthy deeds.  One’s reputation for strength and honor also kept other members of the tribe from picking on them or casting them out.

A man’s honor benefited the tribe as a whole. Each individual’s reputation for courage and strength added to the group’s courage and strength.  The more formidable a tribe’s reputation, the less likely other tribes would try to bother them.  This is why men who do not care about the tribe’s honor are shamed by the group.  Disloyalty of an individual puts the whole group at risk.

20th Century Honor is Depressing

In the 20th Century, urbanization and anonymity dissolved the intimate face-to-face relationships that honor requires.  People have grown uncomfortable with violence and shame.  Individuals feelings and desire have been elevated above the common good of the tribe or society.  People began forming their own personal honor codes and refused judgement of those codes by anyone but themselves.  This transformed honor into a concept synonymous with personal integrity.

Yet, the instinctual male defines his character around honor, and true honor has been whitewashed into personal integrity, the man experiences depression.   Honor is the moral imperative of men.  Obedience is the moral imperative of boys.

As a child, you did the right thing out of obedience to authority and out of fear of punishment from that authority.  As we mature, we begin to recognize that our behavior affects others and the needs of groups to which we belong.

Honor is a moral imperative. As we age, we begin to operate and act out of honor instead of out of obedience to authority.  Men begin to recognize that they have a role to play in helping the group to survive or thrive.  Men recognize that their individual actions add to the strength or weakness of a group.

Honor in a Man Begets Love

The mindset of honor is different.  When men function from a mindset of rules and laws, they do the bare minimum they can without being punished. Or they push the law to see how far it bends.  When men function from the mindset of honor, they seek to pull their own weight, and then add further to strengthen the group.

Honor moves a man’s motivations to act from the base, childlike fear of authority, to a higher, nobler respect that becomes love.  The love of family, love of church, and love of country are all borne of honor.  A man will NEVER let those he loves (or himself) down by slacking off.  Love, from the perspective of a man, is born of his honor and strengthens his honor.

If a man leaves his church, or is disinterested in and organization, it is likely because he’s lost the sense of mutual respect in the horizontal honor of that group or congregation.  He has lost faith in that congregation’s ability to provide the innate horizontal honor he seeks.

Not only is honor a more mature moral imperative than obedience, it is often a much more powerful motivator.  Social pressure, the very thing that drives honor, is more powerful than rules and laws in getting people to do things.   Studies show that people are more likely to change their behavior when they think their respected peers are watching them.   The key driver is respect of peers considered to be equal in group or standing.  We are still social animals at heart – we still feel motivated by shame, loneliness and/or desertion.

Lack of Honor Breeds Ineptitude

Without honor mediocrity, corruption and incompetence rule.  Honor is based in reputation and when people stop caring about their reputation, shame disappears.  When there is no shame, people devolve into creatures with little inertia that do the very least they can without getting into trouble, getting fined or getting fired.   This breeds a culture of mediocrity, corruption, and blatant incompetence.  You can see this in any business or customer service network today.   People no longer have any fear of their history following them and have no incentive to perform with excellence.  Instead, we have a culture of employees with mind blowing ineptitude.

This lack of honor has resulted in a society that now relies upon obedience to rules, regulations and restrictions to govern behavior.  The minutia of rules in your office, town, city, community, and state seem innumerable is because they are.  We must now be policed by external authority to constantly check behavior in the absence of honor.

Honor Creates Meaning

The reason people tend to like old movies and books better than the modern variety is honor.  It’s not nostalgia, or talent or lack of topics.  The drama of old literature captures our attention because the characters had to operate in a culture of honor.

Honor provides structure to navigate and push up against.  The struggle of moving up through a group by following a code, avoiding shame and earning honor.

The reason reality shows have become popular is that these shows create temporary groups of people experimenting with unique situations forcing the creation of and adherence to the groups temporary honor codes.   Otherwise life is mundane and boring.

Without honor life feels like a great charade with our own self-constructed realities that lack comparison, competition and esteem of others.  Life seems empty and insubstantial. Evil runs unchecked. Good goes unrewarded. True merit goes un-honored and everyone gets a participation trophy that holds absolutely no meaning.  Everyone gets a piece of the egalitarian pie that does not nourish or satiate our hunger.

Arlington Cemetery – horse drawn casket for fallen soldier

Every Man Needs a Platoon

We are all part of large groups that provide us identity and belonging.   You might be associated with a political party, a company, a church, a company, a town, a state or a nation.  Yet these groups are usually too large to provide the intimacy necessary for honor to thrive.  In these groups, no one really cares if you are living honorably or not.  We must give up the notion that honor can be revived at the macroscopic level.

Initially, I thought each of us needed a community or congregation.  That may work, but I realized the average size of a military company is 150 people.  This is also “Dunbar’s number.”  It is the maximum number of people in which stable social relationships can occur at any given time.  It is the maximal number in a group in which honor and shame can govern effectively before rules and regulations are required to govern behavior.  Interestingly, this is also the number of people to which ancient villages would grow before they would break off to form separate settlements.

Withing each military company, there are 3-5 platoons consisting of 16-44 men.  Platoons are the smallest “self-contained” unit in the army.  Each one has a medic, radio operator, headquarters element, and forward observer.   A platoon of men usually sleeps together, eats together, fights together and, under severe conditions, dies together.

I have always been fascinated by comments made to me by soldiers when asked about their allegiance to one another.  This was reinforced by journalist Sebastian Junger in his book, War.  Soldiers admit they would risk their lives “without hesitation for anyone in the platoon or company.”  This sense of identity, loyalty, and brotherhood drops off in groups larger than the platoon or the company.

Junger states, “For some reason there is a profound and mysterious gratification to the reciprocal agreement to protect another person with your life, and combat is virtually the only situation in which that happens regularly.

Only a small percentage of those in the military are directly involved in regular firefights.  The rest serve in support roles.  Though support roles experience an honor culture in degrees lower than combat soldiers, it is of a more profound degree than civilians.  Other than combat soldiers, police officers and firefighters are the only others who experience a similar degree of honor.  They may not have their lives directly threatened every day, but they constantly work under the risk that they could, and they know that their comrades are willing to risk their own lives to protect them.

Where Do You Find A Platoon?

Not all of us can be a soldier, police officer or firefighter, even if they if they wanted to be.  Yet, every man can, and should be part of a small, tight-knit honor group.   This may be a sports team, men’s group at church, fraternity, professional group, etc.

If you can’t find one, start your own. It doesn’t have to be formal and you don’t need a lot of people.  2-3 people are enough to start.

For your physical survival and your psychological health, you need to be part of a group.  Men want meaning in their lives, meaning that comes from being a part of something larger than themselves.  But, if you are like me, until I understood the importance of honor groups, we are often unwilling to trade some of our individualism to get it.

Studies done decades ago showed that men who belonged to a group that was close-knit showed less fear when jumping from an airplane than groups of men who shared only weak ties. The studies demonstrated that men could also withstand greater pain from electric shocks when they were part of a highly-bound group, as opposed to one with loose associations. The military found that tightly-knit units suffer less cases of mental breakdown, depression and PTSD than units where morale and bonding is low. The reason for these findings is that men in a tightly-bonded group both know that the man on either side of him has his back.  The fear of dishonoring their brothers drives them to overcome their own fears and move forward and not let others down. One of the men Junger interviewed said, “As a soldier, the thing you were most scared of was failing your brothers when they needed you, and compared to that, dying was easy. Dying was over with. Cowardice lingered forever.”

Men of Today Must Have Honor to Survive

Men around us in society break down and cave to depression and stress, just fighting their individual battles.  I see it every day.  They lack the strength to deal with life’s difficulties because they don’t have honor pushing them forward.  They don’t have honor because they lack a platoon.

The core of honor, then, is this – to act in such a way that does not let the man on your right and the man on your left down when they need you most.

Conclusion

People talk about wanting honor. They desire the end, but do not want the means.  Honor, then, will only live on in small units and platoons of men willing to accept and carry the burden and responsibility that must accompany it.

James Davidson Hunter put it this way, “We say we want a renewal of character in our day but we don’t really know what we ask for. To have a renewal of character is to have a renewal of a creedal order that constrains, limits, binds, obligates, and compels. This price is too high for us to pay. We want character but without unyielding conviction; we want strong morality but without the emotional burden of guilt or shame; we want virtue but without particular moral justifications that invariably offend; we want good without having to name evil; we want decency without the authority to insist upon it; we want moral community without any limitations to personal freedom. In short, we want what we cannot possibly have on the terms that we want it.”

Are you one of those men of honor? Or, will you settle for the pain and depression of living true to only a part of yourself?

The Shovel will Fail You in Obesity, Finances & Life

A few years ago, my family and I set out to build a pond.

I have always loved Koi and the serenity of a Koi pond in my own back yard was very enticing. I spent about a year planning my design and the location.  I dreamed of a serene evening after a very long, hectic day seeing patients relaxing beside the pond.  The sound of trickling water, the occasional splash from fish, the cool breeze passing over the mist from a water-fall would sooth my soul after a busy day in the office.

I envisioned the perfect area.  An unused access path, previously worn by the previous owner with truck and trailer traffic, beside my now expanded patio. Twenty feet wide, thirty feet long and four feet deep. . . that seems just perfect.

I pulled out my shovel and set about digging. Eager to begin and filled with the energy of the final product, I set to digging.  What could be so hard about digging my own pond?  Think of the exercise I will be getting.  Thoughts spurred me on.

Minutes later, chest heaving, face glistening with sweat, I stared in dismay at the ground. All I had to show for my wild digging was a small 1/2 inch dent in the dusty Arizona top soil.

Sonoran Clay

Over time, calcium-carbonate, along with other minerals, accumulates and dissolves into the topsoil of the very arid regions of Arizona Sonoran Desert.  It forms a two to three-foot layer of soil called “caliche.” Periodic rains carry the calcium as far as three feet down into the soil, then the water rapidly evaporates in the blistering Arizona heat.  This often forms two to three feet of soil that is “literally” harder than concrete.

With tremendous zeal, a great deal of sweat and a round of painful blisters, I broke my third shovel on this impenetrable ground.  I realized this was much more difficult than I thought.  I pulled out the back-hoe attachment for my small farm tractor.  After a few hours and few gallons of diesel fuel later, still very little progress occurred.

Multiple weekends and evenings of digging in the Arizona caliche left me with three broken shovels, a ruptured hydrolic line in my tractor, anger that my expensive back-hoe attachment didn’t work, and only a small dent in the ground near my patio.  Even the brute force from the tractor would not budge the clay.  I wondered if dynamite would be effective?  (My wife would have none of this idea).

With my exuberance quashed, I concluded that this would require much more measured exhuming.

Escape From the Prison

We often imagine, with great delight, the removal or destruction of that which enslaves or imprisons us.  We dream that just a little sweat, exertion of a few shovel scoops of dirt and the foundation to our prison of obesity, addiction, debt, and depression are exposed.  A few extra scoops and we imagine freedom from that prison cell.

If only I had a jack hammer and a bigger, more powerful scoop, I imagine . . . I could make short work of these manacles that bind me.

But, our manacles and prison cells do not so easily give way.

The failings of our sharpened spades and powerful back-hoes form a new, even stronger fetter – the belief that our prison cell is unbreakable, that our challenge is just too great. These failings usually leave a person cured of any further desire to break free.  It quashs the dream and solidifying the depression of stagnation.

The in-fecundity of my shovel, no matter the strength and effort put behind it, was not cause to quit.  It was life’s lesson that prisons and shackles often only need a simple tool.

Enter the pick-axe.  During this process my wife said, “Honey, why don’t you use the pick in the garage?”

“If my shovel and the back-hoe didn’t work, there was no way I was going to break through this clay with a pick axe.” That was absurd, I thought.

Yet when I humbled myself to try, it was simple.  The pick-axe was unpretentious.  This simple tool allowed for an almost effortless stroke to a small area of weakness in the caliche.  A large flake of soil would pop free with each stroke. The process was repeated.

Scale by scale, the dragon’s flank was exposed. Careful work of the pick-axe began to loosen layer after layer, section after section, pellicle after pellicle.  Yes, it was slow work. But, each swing was a small victory.

At each little victory, my heart would leap, the dream would become ever clearer.

Working this magic again and again until finally the specter was weakened enough to pull out the shovel.  And, further work, allowed for bringing back the powerful back-hoe, in gratifying scoops.

The excavation that I thought would take two months took me fourteen.  But, it was gratifying.

I learned a powerful lesson. Wherever life has pinned you, fettered you or barred you in, put down the shovel, and pick up the pick-axe.  Second, if you really listen, your spouse may point out the tool you really need. Don’t be afraid to chip away at it a piece at a time.

Finances

Stop waiting for the sharper shovel or the bigger back-hoe to dig yourself out of your harrowing debt, mega mortgage, or your income dwarfing spending. The jackpot or financial windfall won’t come. While others await the jackpot, put down your shovel and shoulder your pick-axe.

  1. Pick one small debt and begin to pick at it by applying just a little extra each month until it is gone.
  2. Cancel your extra cable, sell the motorcycle and payoff the 21% interest credit card.
  3. If you must, pick up a side-hustle for extra to sharpen the pick.

Once you’ve lifted one flake, chip away at the next. Making progress will make it easier to continue.  It doesn’t matter how long it takes, just keep at it.

Marriage

You long for resolution of the apathy, progressive resentment and mutual stalemate that permeates your relationship.  You look in vain for the bigger shovel that will uncover the treasure that years of apathy have buried. You long to uncover your dreams and needs that have been covered and hardened under the clay of resentment.  The shovel and the back-hoe won’t help you here.

Drop the shovel.  Shoulder your pick-axe.

  1. Kiss your wife every time you leave, even if it’s just for a ten minutes to run to the convenience store.
  2. Hold her for five seconds longer every time you hug.
  3. Find a gift you can give her once a week, just because.
  4. Put down your phone and look her in the eyes when she talks to you and listen. Really listen and the flakes of hard clay will unveil the beauty of her soul.
  5. Find a way to praise her every day, even if it is through a simple text.

Health

You long to rid yourself of your addiction to sugar, bread, stress, and sleep deprivation.  You’ve tried to scoop them out of your life.  You even hired a trainer with some muscle to force you to change.  You’ve tried in vain to save yourself from yourself.

Trying to use the shovel here is like trying to use the shovel on steel forged walls of your life’s prison fortress.  Forget the shovel.  Shoulder your pick-axe.

  1. Start with one meal and make some substitutions.  My dietary plan can help you with this.
  2. Go to bed an hour earlier. Really, you’ll be surprised that the focus you have will more than compensate for the hour of lost time in the evening.
  3. Add a quality vitamin to your morning routine.
  4. Take ten minutes and do 20 push-ups and 20 sit-ups, then take a 10-minute walk.
  5. Simply remove the “white stuff” from your meals. You will be amazed at the results.
  6. Put down your phone for 30 minutes and read that book you’ve been meaning to read, instead of surfing Facebook.

Grand-standing with your back-hoe doesn’t help you.  Just swing the pick-axe once or twice.  Simple daily picking with the sharp point weakens the hardest of ground and the prison walls in our lives.  It takes time, so be patient.

Find the weak point, apply the pick.  Day by day, little by little you will be free.

I’ve been there.  I’m with you.  Keep me posted on your journey.

If you’re looking for a program that teaches you how to do this, check out my membership site.

Does Jung & Myers-Briggs Typology Effect Obesity?

Sitting around the dinner table this evening we began discussing personality types.  As a fun exercise, we each took the Jung Typology Test based on Jung and Myers-Briggs findings about personality.   If you haven’t taken this personality test, you might find it quite interesting and the topic of hours of conversation around the dinner table  . . . as we did this evening. The test is free on-line and takes about 10 minutes.

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Carl Gustav Jung – Swiss Psychiatrist & Psychotherapist

The actual Myers-Briggs Type Indicator costs about $50.00 and includes an interpretation by someone trained in giving the test. It differs slightly in its questions and the way the testing is interpreted.

Both tests provide an interesting insight into your individual psychological preferences regarding four categories.  According to Carl G. Jung’s theory of psychological types published in 1971, people can be characterized, first, by their preference or general attitude about the source of and how they express their energy:

  • Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I)

The second preference is one of the two functions of perception, or related to how they perceive information coming from either the external or internal world:

  • Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N)

and the third preference relates to how one processes the information that they have received, acting as one of the two functions of thought or judgement:

  • Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)

Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed that the fourth preference related to how one applies or implements the information that he or she processed above.  She proposed a judging-perceiving relationship as the fourth dichotomy influencing personality type in 1980:

  • Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)

Each of these dichotomies represents an opposite pole of preference and each of us have a dominant pole toward which we gravitate.

Based upon your dominant traits, a personality type index is assigned.

PersonalityChart

Kim and Lee studied these personality preferences and how they relate to diet, health and propensity toward obesity.  Their findings were interesting in that expression, perception and judgement did not seem to have any bearing on  health or obesity. However, the application of judgement vs perception did play a role in health. Judging (J) means that a person organizes all of his or her life events and, as a rule, sticks to those plans. Perceiving (P) means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.

Significantly better dietary and health behaviors were identified in those preferring Judging (J) versus those preferring Perceiving (P) traits.  Those preferring the Judging (J) behaviors included eating breakfast, regularly eating three meals a day, smoking less, exercising more and having a lower tendency to nocturnal eating.

The findings show that the use of  Jung Type or Myers-Briggs Type Indicator may be helpful in identifying and index those with a Perceiving (P) trait that would benefit from dietary and exercise education, nutritional counseling and/or behavior modification programs.

It has been my experience that those with a “P” type dichotomy preference would benefit greatly from daily food planning and journaling.

So, what is your Jung/Myers-Briggs type?

Just for fun, and because my kids were very curious about what each personality type would appear as in character, I’ve included the Jung/Myers-Briggs Disney typing.

I’m an ENFJ, just in case you’re curious.

Disney Character Personality Types

References:

  1. Jung, C. G. (1971). Psychological types (Collected works of C. G. Jung, volume 6, Chapter X)
  2. Briggs Myers, I. (1980, 1995) Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type
  3. Kim BS, Lee YE. College Students’ Dietary and Health Behaviors related to Their Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Personality Preferences. Korean J Community Nutr. 2002 Feb;7(1):32-44. Korean.

 

The 3 Weight Loss Necessities to Weathering the Holidays

What are the three things you need to successfully weather the holidays with your ketosis lifestyle? What does a raindeer on a motorcycle look like? How does insulin resistance effect kidney stones and gout? How do you get back on track if you fall off the ketosis wagon? These and many more questions are answered by Dr. Adam Nally on tonight’s PeriScope.

You can see the video stream including the comment roll here at katch.me/docmuscles.  Or you can watch the video below:

Principles of Life for Consideration

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Over the years, I have collected quotes, bits of wisdom, quips of life and principles of living.  I have taken them from a number of sources, friends, family and thoughts that have just come to me while reading, pondering or out riding my horse with my family.  I have made a point to try to write these down and I thought that I would share them with you today.  Some of them apply to health, obesity, weight and others just apply to being a gentleman. Some of these I struggle with and maybe you do too. Some of them I am good at, and some of them I need to work on.  Let me know what you think:

  • Ponder each night upon the events of the day, and make a goal for tomorrow.
  • Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
  • Every action in public should be done with some sign of respect to those present.
  • When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
  • When in the presence of others, do not sing to yourself, hum to yourself, or drum fingers or feet.
  • If you cough, sneeze, sigh or yawn, cover your mouth.
  • Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
  • Strategy is not the consequence of planning, but the opposite: its starting point.
  • Of all the things a leader should fear, complacency should head the list.
  • The great man is not only responsible for harvesting his own success, but for cultivating the success of the next generation.
  • Vitality is shown not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over.
  • Smile when you pass a stranger.
  • Know the words to your national anthem.
  • Even if your dance moves aren’t the best, making a fool of yourself is much more fun than sitting on the bench.
  • A suntan is earned, not purchased.
  • Don’t sleep when others are talking, don’t sit when others stand, don’t talk when you should hold your peace, don’t walk when others stop.
  • Don’t remove your clothes in the presence of others or leave the privacy of your home half dressed.
  • Don’t bite your nails in the presence of others.
  • Avoid turning your back on someone who is speaking.
  • Don’t lean upon or kick the table upon which someone is reading or writing.
  • Always be the first to remove your hat, salute, or extend your hand to your equal or superior.
  • Let your speech with men of business be short and comprehensive.
  • Whenever writing or speaking, give to every person his due title according to his degree and the custom of the time.
  • Let your recreation be manful, not sinful.
  • Don’t talk with food in your mouth.
  • It is the duty of the senior ranking official within the group or company to unfold his napkin and begin eating first; however, that same official should begin with-in time and demonstrate enough dexterity that the slowest may have the necessary time allowed him to partake of the meal.
  • Avoid strife in disagreement with a superior, but always submit your judgement to others with modesty.
  • Associate yourself with men and women of good quality if you esteem your reputation, for it is better to be alone, then in bad company.
  • Don’t point.
  • Keep your promises.
  • The only things that evolve on their own in any organization are disorder, friction, and nonperformance.
  • Morale is really only faith in the man at the top.
  • No great invention was ever made without true exercise of imagination.
  • All bleeding stops . . . eventually.