Essential Life Facts for Growing Older
1. Death is the number one killer in the world.
2. Life is sexually transmitted.
3. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
4. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach that person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months or even years.
5. Health nuts are going to feel a little sheepish someday, just lying on a hospital bed, dying of nothing.
6. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays absolutely no attention to criticism.
7. In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world feel weird. Now, the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it feel normal.
8. Life is essentially carbohydrate induced. . . This all started because someone was tempted into eating an apple.
9. Don’t worry too much about old age; it doesn’t last that long.